However, this morning some kind soul had left a copy of 'London's free newspaper' Metro on the seat. What a gem that was, not only did I laugh at Heidi Klum and Seals Kids Leni & Henry, I was astounded by the stupidity of Gareth Topping, 32, from Sidmouth, Devon who 'found' a BMW motorbike washed up from a shipwreck and claimed it he said:
"It's incredible. I saw about 30 BMW bikes all boxed up in pretty good nick you could probably build yourself a car from the spare parts."
Yes Gareth - you could build a car - from 30 motorbikes.. if you were the fucking A-team! and it'd probably resemble something from Scrapheap challenge and move just like it looks.
Other genius content from the Metro included a KKK cartoon about the recent Channel 4 supporting racist views, and a piss ripping review of that really, really annoying Specsavers advert.
Oh and to top it all off - I was delighted to see that my favourite book from infant school has been adapted for the stage - Flat Stanley - the story of Stanley Lambchop - who gets flattened by a bulletin board (probably put up by one of those 30 min makeover programmes on daytime TV) - however Stanley survives, but he has to live the rest of his life as a 20mm thick boy - however he doesn't let this hinder him, he slips under doors, and catches art thieves by masquerading as a painting in the gallery - genius, if you haven't read it - do so now... Who said the Metro was just Yesterdays Evening Standard?
